The real lesson of GME debacle is that Vanguard is the only trustworthy brokerage.
Most Bogleheads are looking at the GME situation as another classic example of a speculative bubble bursting. But that's not the full story. The people at Wall Street Bets are fine with gambling and so called "loss porn." The real problem is that Robinhood's main source of income is payment for order flow to a company called Citadel. When you place a trade at Robinhood, they send the information to a market maker, most often Citadel. Citadel quickly purchases the security from a seller and then resells it to you. This is why there is a bid ask spread when trading stocks. Citadel serves as a middleman that pockets a few pennies in every transaction. The problem is that Citadel is also one of the hedge funds that is shorting GameStop. They stood to lose billions of dollars in a short squeeze tomorrow. When Robinhood blocked the purchase of GME, but not the sale, the stock price tanked. This allowed Citadel to cover their shorts at a tenth of the price they would have had to pay tomorrow. This moved billions of dollars out of the hands of retail speculators into Citadel's accounts (along with a few other hedge funds such as Point72). Robinhood is beholden to Citadel because most of their revenue comes from them. Fidelity is a private company beholden to its private owners. Schwab is a public company that is beholden to it's public owners. But Vanguard's ownership structure is unique. The fundholders are the owners of Vanguard. As such, they have no conflicts of interest. They don't sell order flow to hedge funds. They don't take the interest out of your cash accounts. They are only accountable to you. I never appreciated this until today. Ultimately, it's one thing to lose your money gambling at a casino. But it's another thing for the dealer to steal your chips when you turn your head. Vanguard is one of the few places where you can feel truly confident that they won't do that.
Thrower HP: 3800 Attack (1.6 sec reload, 7 tile range, 4 tile diameter): All in- Cassie throws a poker chip on the ground, dealing 1300 damage in an area once and leaving it on the ground, the poker chip will not do anything and brawlers and projectiles can go though. Each poker chip lasts for 5 secs on the ground and a maximum of 5 can appear in the map at once. Super (3 hits): Winning color- Cassie explodes all chips on the ground after a 1 sec delay, dealing 1200 damage in a 4 tile diameter. Starpower: - No more bets: Cassie knocks all enemies away from her by 3 tiles in a 5 tile diameter after using super. - Sore loser: Enemies hit by her super's explosion loses 1 ammo, cannot stack. Gadget: - Sweep away: Cassie removes all active chips and then gives her a 1.6 ammo for each chip destroyed. Has 3 uses Cassie owns a popular casino, she owns all of the games but is always managing the roulette wheel, she always laughs when people accuse her for being a cheater but not when people make fun of her height.
Cooper
Fighter HP: 5000 Attack (2 sec reload, 8 tile range): Distribute- Cooper throws 3 cards clockwise in a 24* angle similar to bo's attack pattern, each dealing 440 damage on contact and doesn't pierce. Enemies hit gets an effect where if the enemy hit has taken 5 cards, cooper gains 0.5 ammo. The card stack effect lasts for 10 secs, after which will remove all cards if it hasn't triggered during the effect. Super (3 ammos worth): Shuffle- Cooper removes all of his ammo and after a 1 sec delay, converts all removed ammo to a 5% shield that lasts for 5 secs each ammo removed and refills the ammo bar to full. The shield can stack for up to a maximum of 30% and getting another stack resets the duration. Starpowers: - Three of a kind: After using shuffle, cooper's next attack heals 300 HP per card - Wild card: After using shuffle, cooper's next 2 attacks gets a 4th card. Gadget: - Calculated gambit: Deal 1700 damage to yourself then soon activate shuffle, the shield given per ammo is doubled. Has 3 uses Cooper is a card dealer in cassie's casino, he likes to shuffle the cards to favor the brawlers that he thinks he likes, which is mostly him, but he's not the one playing except when it's in battle.
Steven
Sharpshooter HP: 5100 Attack (1.6 sec reload, 9 tile range): Slot machine- Steven fires 3 projectiles from his slot machine, each dealing 420 damage. If steven tries to fire with 0 ammo, he will deal 20% of his max HP as damage to himself to convert into an attack, he cannot do this if he's at or less than 20% of his current HP. Super (4 ammos worth, 8 tile range): Spare change?- Steven fires a projectile that cuts the first enemy hit by it by half of their HP, if the enemy hit has or less than 50% of their HP, the target will just take 1200 damage. Starpowers: - Jackpot: Steven's fire rate/ unload gets faster if his HP is or less than half. - Pocket change: Steven's super heals him 1200 HP Gadget: - Lucky sevens: Steven removes 1 ammo or 20% of his HP if he has no ammo, after a 0.8 sec delay, grants himself a 50% shield that lasts for 2 secs. Has 3 uses Steven loves playing the slot machines, he is cassie's number one customer and would steal other people's coins behind people's back to feed the slot machine, but he promises that if he wins he will pay them back, which is most likely never.
It could be the best in terms of anything Paul Newman: The Hustler, Cool Hand Luke, Exodus, From the Terrace, Paris Blues, Hud, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, Sweet Bird of Youth, Harper, Lady L, Hombre, Torn Curtain, Winning, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Secret War of Harry Frigg, The Prize, What a Way to Go!, The Outrage, and A New Kind of Love. Gregory Peck: To Kill a Mockingbird, Mackenna's Gold, The Chairman, Cape Fear, Captain Newman, M.D., How the West Was Won, Behold a Pale Horse, Marooned, Mirage, Arabesque, The Stalking Moon, and The Guns of Navarone. Steve McQueen: The Sand Pebbles, The Great Escape, Love with the Proper Stranger, The Magnificent Seven, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Cincinnati Kid, Bullitt, The Honeymoon Machine, The Honeymoon Machine, The War Lover, Soldier in the Rain, Nevada Smith, Baby the Rain Must Fall, and The Reivers. Dustin Hoffman: The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, The Tiger Makes Out, Madigan's Millions, and John and Mary. Peter O Toole: Lawrence of Arabia, Becket, The Lion in Winter, Goodbye, Mr. Chips, Kidnapped, The Day They Robbed the Bank of England, The Savage Innocents, What's New Pussycat?, The Sandpiper, Lord Jim, How to Steal a Million, The Bible: In the Beginning..., Casino Royale, The Night of the Generals, and Great Catherine. Henry Fonda: How the West Was Won, Firecreek, Once Upon a Time in the West, Madigan, The Boston Strangler, Fail Safe, Sex and the Single Girl, The Longest Day, Advise & Consent, Spencer's Mountain, The Dirty Game, In Harm's Way, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Welcome to Hard Times, The Best Man, The Rounders, Battle of the Bulge, and Yours, Mine and Ours. Toshiro Mifune: Shinsengumi, The Battle of the Japan Sea, Red Lion, Safari 5000, Hell in the Pacific, Samurai Banners, The Day the Sun Rose, Admiral Yamamoto, Japan's Longest Day, The Sands of Kurobe, Samurai Rebellion, Grand Prix, The Mad Atlantic, The Adventure of Kigan Castle, Rise Against the Sword, The Sword of Doom, Fort Graveyard, The Retreat from Kiska, Sanshiro Sugata, Samurai Assassin, Red Beard, Legacy of the 500,000, The Lost World of Sinbad, Whirlwind, Chūshingura: Hana no Maki, Yuki no Maki, Attack Squadron!, High and Low, Yojimbo, The Youth and his Amulet, Sanjuro, Tatsu, Three Gentlemen Return from Hong Kong, Salaryman Chushingura Part 1 & 2, The Story of Osaka Castle, The Youth and his Amulet, Ánimas Trujano, The Last Gunfight, The Gambling Samurai, The Bad Sleep Well, Man Against Man, and Storm Over the Pacific. Montgomery Clift: Judgment at Nuremberg, The Misfits, Freud: The Secret Passion, The Defector, and Wild River. Burt Lancaster: Judgment at Nuremberg, Birdman of Alcatraz, Elmer Gantry, Seven Days in May, The Leopard, The Professionals, The Unforgiven, The Young Savages, The List of Adrian Messenger, A Child Is Waiting, The Hallelujah Trail, The Train, The Swimmer, The Scalphunters, Castle Keep, and The Gypsy Moths. Marlon Brando: Mutiny on the Bounty, The Fugitive Kind, One-Eyed Jacks, Morituri, The Chase, Bedtime Story, The Ugly American, Reflections in a Golden Eye, Candy, The Appaloosa, The Night of the Following Day, Burn!, and A Countess from Hong Kong. Tony Curtis: Captain Newman, M.D., The Boston Strangler, Sex and the Single Girl, Spartacus, Pepe, The Rat Race, The Great Impostor, The List of Adrian Messenger, 40 Pounds of Trouble, Paris When It Sizzles, The Outsider, Taras Bulba, Goodbye Charlie, Not with My Wife, You Don't!, The Great Race, Wild and Wonderful, Boeing Boeing, Chamber of Horrors, On My Way to the Crusades, I Met a Girl Who..., Rosemary's Baby, Drop Dead Darling, Don't Make Waves, Monte Carlo or Bust!, and Who Was That Lady?. Robert Redford: The Chase, Tall Story, Situation Hopeless... But Not Serious, War hunt, Inside Daisy Clover, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Barefoot in the Park, This Property Is Condemned, Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here, and Downhill Racer. Anthony Perkins: Tall Story, Psycho, The Trial, Phaedra, Pretty Poison, Five Miles to Midnight, Goodbye Again, The Fool Killer, Une ravissante idiote, Le glaive et la balance, The Champagne Murders, and Is Paris Burning?. John Huston: Candy, The List of Adrian Messenger, The Cardinal, Casino Royale, and The Bible: In the Beginning John Wayne: How the West Was Won, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Longest Day, True Grit, El Dorado, Cast a Giant Shadow, The War Wagon, The Green Berets, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Hatari!, North to Alaska, The Alamo, The Comancheros, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Circus World, Hellfighters, and The Undefeated. Jack Lemmon: The Great Race,Pepe, The Apartment, The Wackiest Ship in the Army, The Notorious Landlad, Days of Wine and Roses, Under the Yum Yum Tree, Irma la Douce, How to Murder Your Wife, Good Neighbor Sam, Luv, The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, and The April Fools. Marcello Mastroianni: 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, La Notte, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, Divorce Italian Style, Marriage Italian Style, The 10th Victim, Adua and Her Friends, Il bell'Antonio, Ghosts of Rome, La Notte, Family Diary, Family Diary, The Organizer, Kiss the Other Sheik, Me, Me, Me... and the Others, Casanova 70, Shoot Loud, Louder... I Don't Understand, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, Ghosts – Italian Style, Amanti, Break Up, The Stranger, and Diamonds for Breakfast. James Stewart: How the West Was Won, Firecreek, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Cheyenne Autumn, The Mountain Road, Two Rode Together, Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation, Take Her, She's Mine, Shenandoah, Dear Brigitte, Bandolero!, and The Rare Breed. Robert Mitchum: What a Way to Go!, Cape Fear, The Longest Day, El Dorado, Home from the Hill, The Sundowners, A Terrible Beauty, Two for the Seesaw, The Last Time I Saw Archie, The Grass Is Greener, The Way West, Mister Moses, Rampage, Man in the Middle, Anzio, 5 Card Stud, Villa Rides, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Secret Ceremony, and Young Billy Young. Robert Duvall: Captain Newman, M.D., True Grit, To Kill a Mockingbird, Bullitt, The Chase, Nightmare in the Sun, Countdown, and The Detective. Jean-Paul Belmondo: Breathless, That Man from Rio, Seven Days... Seven Nights, Trapped by Fear, Classe Tous Risques, The Lovemakers, Two Women, Lettere di una novizia, Love and the Frenchwoman, Le Doulos, Famous Love Affairs, Cartouche, A Man Named Rocca, Mare matto, The Winner, Sweet and Sour, Banana Peel, A Monkey in Winter, Backfire, Greed in the Sun, Weekend at Dunkirk, The Shortest Day, Magnet of Doom, Tender Scoundrel, Is Paris Burning?, Casino Royale, Male Hunt, Crime on a Summer Morning, Pierrot le Fou, Up to His Ears, Ho!, The Brain, Mississippi Mermaid, and Love Is a Funny Thing. Kirk Douglas: Seven Days in May, The List of Adrian Messenger, Spartacus, Is Paris Burning?, The War Wagon, The Way West, Lonely Are the Brave, The Heroes of Telemark, Town Without Pity, The Last Sunset, For Love or Money, The Hook, The Arrangement, The Legend of Silent Night, The Brotherhood, A Lovely Way to Die, and Cast a Giant Shadow. Charles Bronson: The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape, Battle of the Bulge, Villa Rides, Guns of Diablo, X-15, The Bull of the West, 4 for Texas, Lola, Once Upon a Time in the West, Guns for San Sebastian, The Dirty Dozen, A Thunder of Drums, Kid Galahad, Master of the World, The Sandpiper, This Property Is Condemned, The Meanest Men in the West, and Adieu l'ami. Orson Welles: Casino Royale, Is Paris Burning?, The Trial, Kampf um Rom, The Thirteen Chairs, The Merchant of Venice, Battle of Neretva, Tepepa, The Southern Star, I'll Never Forget What's'isname, A Man for All Seasons, David and Goliath, La Fayette, Austerlitz, Crack in the Mirror, The Tartars, The V.I.P.s, Chimes at Midnight, In the Land of Don Quixote, Marco the Magnificent, House of Cards, The Immortal Story, and Oedipus the King. William Holden: Paris When It Sizzles, The Wild Bunch, The World of Suzie Wong, The Lion, Satan Never Sleeps, The Counterfeit Traitor, Casino Royale, The Devil's Brigade, The 7th Dawn, Alvarez Kelly, and The Christmas Tree. Frank Sinatra: Cast a Giant Shadow, The Detective, 4 for Texas, The Manchurian Candidate, Tony Rome, Pepe, The Devil at 4 O'Clock, The Road to Hong Kong, Sergeants 3, Come Blow Your Horn, None but the Brave, Paris When It Sizzles, Lady in Cement, The Oscar, Assault on a Queen, The Naked Runner, Von Ryan's Express, Marriage on the Rocks, and Robin and the 7 Hoods. Elvis Presley: G.I. Blues, Kid Galahad, Wild in the Country, Follow That Dream, Blue Hawaii, It Happened at the World's Fair, Girls! Girls! Girls!, Fun in Acapulco, Roustabout, Viva Las Vegas, Kissin' Cousins, Frankie and Johnny, Girl Happy, Harum Scarum, Tickle Me, Clambake, Easy Come, Easy Go, Double Trouble, Stay Away, Joe, Live a Little, Love a Little, Speedway, Change of Habit, The Trouble with Girls, Charro!, Spinout, and Paradise, Hawaiian Style. Edmond O'Brien: The Wild Bunch, The Longest Day, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Fantastic Voyage, The Great Impostor, The Last Voyage, The 3rd Voice, Birdman of Alcatraz, Man-Trap, Moon Pilot, Sylvia, Rio Conchos, The Hanged Man, The Outsider, Synanon, The Doomsday Flight, The Love God?, Flesh and Blood, The Viscount, and To Commit a Murder. Ben Johnson: The Wild Bunch, The Rare Breed, The Undefeated, Hang 'Em High, Cheyenne Autumn, Will Penny, One-Eyed Jacks, Ten Who Dared, Tomboy and the Champ, and Major Dundee. Warren Oates: The Wild Bunch, The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond, The Rounders, Ride the High Country, Private Property, Mail Order Bride, Hero's Island, In the Heat of the Night, Welcome to Hard Times, The Shooting, Return of the Seven, Smith!, Crooks and Coronets, The Split, Something for a Lonely Man, and Lanton Mills. Sidney Poitier: In the Heat of the Night, Lilies of the Field, A Patch of Blue, To Sir, With Love, A Raisin in the Sun, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Paris Blues, The Long Ships, Pressure Point,All the Young Men, The Bedford Incident, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Slender Thread, Duel at Diablo, For Love of Ivy, and The Lost Man. Rod Steiger: The Longest Day, In the Heat of the Night, The Pawn broker, Doctor Zhivago, No Way to Treat a Lady, Three into Two Won't Go, Seven Thieves, The Mark, 13 West Street, World in My Pocket, Convicts 4, Time of Indifference, Hands over the City, A Man Named John, The Loved One, The Girl and the General, The Sergeant, and The Illustrated Man. Ernest Borgnine: The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Bunch, The Legend of Lylah Clare, Pay or Die, The Last Judgment, Barabbas, The Italian Brigands, McHale's Navy, The Flight of the Phoenix, The Oscar, The Split, A Bullet for Sandoval, Ice Station Zebra, Chuka, Go Naked in the World, Black City, and Man on a String. George Kennedy: The Boston Strangler, Charade, Strait-Jacket, McHale's Navy, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Dirty Dozen, Shenandoah, The Flight of the Phoenix, Guns of the Magnificent Seven, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Cool Hand Luke, The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come, The Man from the Diners' Club, The Silent Witness, McHale's Navy, Mirage, Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Island of the Blue Dolphins, In Harm's Way, Hurry Sundown, Bandolero!, The Ballad of Josie, Gaily, Gaily, and The Pink Jungle. Strother Martin: McLintock!, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Cool Hand Luke, Hurry Sundown, Sanctuary, Shenandoah, Harper, Nevada Smith, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Wild Bunch, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, True Grit, An Eye for an Eye, The Flim-Flam Man, Showdown, Invitation to a Gunfighter, and The Deadly Companions. Clint Eastwood: The Dollars Trilogy, Hang 'Em High, Where Eagles Dare, The Witches, Coogan's Bluff, and Paint Your Wagon. Eli Wallach: How the West Was Won, The Magnificent Seven, The Misfits, The Tiger Makes Out, Lord Jim, How to Steal a Million, A Lovely Way to Die, Seven Thieves, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Genghis Khan, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life, Ace High, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, The Brain, Mackenna's Gold, Kisses for My President, Act One, The Moon-Spinners, and The Victors. Lee Van Cleef: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Posse from Hell, The Big Gundown, Sabata, Death Rides a Horse, Commandos, Day of Anger, and Beyond the Law. Richard Burton: The Sandpiper, Where Eagles Dare, Ice Palace, The Longest Day, The Bramble Bush, Zulu, Becket, Cleopatra, What's New Pussycat?, The Night of the Iguana, The Spy Who Came In from the Cold, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Taming of the Shrew, Candy, Boom!, The Comedians in Africa, The Comedians, Doctor Faustus, Staircase, and Anne of the Thousand Days. Paul Scofield: A Man for all Seasons, The Train, and Tell Me Lies. Warren Beatty: All Fall Down, Splendor in the Grass, Bonnie and Clyde, Lilith, The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, Mickey One, Promise Her Anything, and Kaleidoscope. Albert Finney: Tom Jones, The Entertainer, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, Two for the Road, The Victors, Night Must Fall, Charlie Bubbles, and The Picasso Summer. Lee Marvin: Hell in the Pacific, The Professionals, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Comancheros, Paint Your Wagon, Point Blank, The Killers, Donovan's Reef, Cat Ballou, Ship of Fools, Sergeant Ryker, Hell in the Pacific, The Dirty Dozen, and Point Blank. Anthony Quinn: Behold a Pale Horse, Barabbas, Zorba the Greek, Lawrence of Arabia, Guns for San Sebastian, The Rover, San Sebastian 1746 in 1968, The Secret of Santa Vittoria, A Dream of Kings, The 25th Hour, The Happening, Lost Command, Marco the Magnificent, The Visit, A High Wind in Jamaica, Heller in Pink Tights, The Savage Innocents, Portrait in Black, The Guns of Navarone, The Magus, and The Shoes of the Fisherman. Michael Caine: Hurry Sundown, The Magus, Zulu, The Ipcress File, Alfie, The Italian Job, Deadfall, Funeral in Berlin, Billion Dollar Brain, Battle of Britain, Gambit, The Wrong Box, Woman Times Seven, Play Dirty, Foxhole in Cairo, Solo for Sparrow, The Wrong Arm of the Law, The Bulldog Breed, and The Day the Earth Caught Fire. Rex Harrison: Cleopatra, My Fair Lady, Doctor Dolittle, The Happy Thieves, Midnight Lace, The Agony and the Ecstasy, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, Staircase, The Honey Pot, and A Flea in Her Ear. Sean Connery: The Longest Day, Dr. No, Marnie, Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, Macbeth, The Frightened City, On the Fiddle, Anna Karenina, Shalako, The Red Tent, You Only Live Twice, Un monde nouveau, The Hill, A Fine Madness, Thunderball, Woman of Straw, and The Bowler and the Bunnet. Spencer Tracy: Judgment at Nuremberg, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Inherit the Wind, The Devil at 4 O'Clock, and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Chishû Ryû: Late Autumn, Otoko wa Tsurai yo, The Human Bullet, Japan's Longest Day, The End of Summer, An Autumn Afternoon, The Human Condition 3, and The Last War. Martin Balsam: Psycho, A Thousand Clowns, Trilogy, The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, Around the World of Mike Todd, Me, Natalie, Around the World of Mike Todd, Hombre, Among the Paths to Eden, After the Fox, Harlow, The Bedford Incident, Seven Days in May, Suspense, Youngblood Hawke, Everybody Go Home, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Ada, Cape Fear, Route 66, and Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?. Alan Bates: Zorba the Greek, Georgy Girl, Far from the Madding Crowd, Women in Love, King of Hearts, The Fixer, The Entertainer, Zorba the Greek, Nothing but the Best, Whistle Down the Wind, A Kind of Loving, The Caretaker, and The Running Man. Alain Delon: Is Paris Burning?, Famous Love Affairs, Rocco and His Brothers, Purple Noon, The Leopard, Le Samouraï, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, Lost Command, L'Eclisse, The Joy of Living, The Devil and the Ten Commandments, Love at Sea, Carom Shots, Any Number Can Win, Joy House, The Unvanquished, Once a Thief, Texas Across the River, Adieu l'ami, Jeff, The Sicilian Clan, La Piscine, Spirits of the Dead, The Girl on a Motorcycle, The Last Adventure, and Diabolically Yours. Peter Sellers: What's New Pussycat?, Casino Royale, Woman Times Seven, Dr. Strangelove, Lolita, The Millionairess, Never Let Go, Two-Way Stretch, The Wrong Arm of the Law, The Dock Brief, The Pink Panther, Only Two Can Play, Mr. Topaze, Waltz of the Toreadors, Heavens Above!, A Shot in the Dark, The World of Henry Orient, A Carol for Another Christmas, Casino Royale, Woman Times Seven, The bobo, The Party, The Magic Christian, and I Love You, Alice B. Toklas. George C. Scott: The List of Adrian Messenger, The Hustler, Not with My Wife, You Don't!, The Flim-Flam Man, Dr. Strangelove, The Power and the Glory, The Crucible, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, The Bible: In the Beginning..., This Savage Land, and Petulia. Walter Matthau: Charade, Fail Safe, The Fortune Cookie, The Odd Couple, Strangers When We Meet, Lonely Are the Brave, Mirage, Ensign Pulver, Island of Love, Who's Got the Action?, Candy, Cactus Flower, Hello, Dolly!, The Secret Life of an American Wife, and A Guide for the Married Man. Jean-Louis Trintignant: Z, A Man and a Woman, The Great Silence, Austerlitz, Horace 62, Un homme à abattre, La Longue marche, Trans-Europ-Express, Le Combat dans l'île, So Sweet... So Perverse, L'Américain, Mata Hari, Agent H21, Journey Beneath the Desert, Il Sorpasso, Col cuore in gola, Death Laid an Egg, Les Biches, My Love, My Love, The Man Who Lies, Metti, una sera a cena, My Night at Maud's, The Libertine, The Sleeping Car Murders, Diamond Safari, Spotlight on a Murderer, Nutty, and Naughty Chateau. Max von Sydow: The Greatest Story Ever Told, Shame, Hour of the Wolf, The Virgin Spring, Through a Glass Darkly, Bröllopsdagen, 4x4, Winter Light, Hawaii, Adventures of Nils Holgersson, The Mistress, Made in Sweden, The Passion of Anna, The Quiller Memorandum, Svarta palmkronor, The Reward, and Here Is Your Life. Richard Attenborough: The Sand Pebbles, The Great Escape, Doctor Dolittle, The Angry Silence, Upgreen – And at 'Em, The Dock Brief, Only Two Can Play, The League of Gentlemen, All Night Long, Séance on a Wet Afternoon, The Third Secret, The Flight of the Phoenix, Only When I Larf, Guns at Batasi, The Magic Christian, Oh! What a Lovely War, and The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom. Melvyn Douglas: Hud, Hotel, The Crucible, Companions in Nightmare, Rapture, Inherit the Wind, Lamp At Midnight, Advance to the Rear, A Very Close Family, The Americanization of Emily, and Billy Budd. Woody Strode: Spartacus, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Sergeant Rutledge, The Last Voyage, Two Rode Together, The Sins of Rachel Cade, Che!, Once Upon a Time in the West, Boot Hill, Genghis Khan, Shalako, Black Jesus, The Professionals, Tarzan's Three Challenges, and 7 Women. Yûsuke Kawazu: The River Fuefuki, Ken, Manji, Kiri no Hata, Cruel Story of Youth, Genocide, Fighting Elegy, and Black Lizard. John Cassavetes: The Dirty Dozen, Rosemary's Baby, A Child Is Waiting, The Killers, Devil's Angels, Roma come Chicago, If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, Machine Gun McCain, and The Webster Boy. Laurence Harvey: The Outrage, Kampf um Rom, The Manchurian Candidate, The Ceremony, The Alamo, The Long and the Short and the Tall, BUtterfield 8, Walk on the Wild Side, The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, The Running Man, A Girl Named Tamiko, Darling, Of Human Bondage, Summer and Smoke, Two Loves, The Doctor and the Devil, Rebus, The Spy with a Cold Nose, The Magic Christian, L'assoluto naturale, The Charge of the Light Brigade, A Dandy in Aspic, Life at the Top, The Outrage, and The Winter's Tale. Omar Sharif: Mackenna's Gold, Behold a Pale Horse, Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Funny Girl, More Than a Miracle, Che!, Mayerling, Trois hommes sur un cheval, The Appointment, Genghis Khan, The Yellow Rolls-Royce, El mamalik, The Night of the Generals, Lawet El Hub, Nahna el talamiza, Gharam el assiad, Hobi al-Wahid, The Beginning and the End, The River of Love, A Rumor of Love, and There is a Man in our House. George Peppard: How the West Was Won, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Carpetbaggers, House of Cards, Home from the Hill, The Victors, The Subterraneans, P.J.,What's So Bad About Feeling Good?, Pendulum, Operation Crossbow, The Third Day, Tobruk, Rough Night in Jericho, and The Blue Max. James Garner: The Great Escape, Grand Prix, Duel at Diablo, 36 Hours, The Pink Jungle, A High Wind in Jamaica,Hour of the Gun, The Americanization of Emily, Cash McCall, The Children's Hour, Boys' Night Out, Action on the Beach, The Art of Love, Grand Prix: Challenge of the Champions, The Thrill of It All, Move Over, Darling, The Wheeler Dealers, Marlowe, Support Your Local Sheriff!, The Man Who Makes the Difference, Once Upon a Wheel, The Racing Scene, A Man Could Get Killed, How Sweet It Is!, and Mister Buddwing. Donald Pleasence: The Great Escape, The Night of the Generals, You Only Live Twice, Creature of Comfort, Will Penny, Fantastic Voyage, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Hallelujah Trail, The Caretaker, Suspect, No Love for Johnnie, The Shakedown, The Flesh and the Fiends, The Hands of Orlac, Hell Is a City, The Wind of Change, Circus of Horrors, Sons and Lovers, The Big Day, Dr. Crippen, Cul-de-sac, The Inspector, What a Carve Up!, Eye of the Devil, Matchless, Arthur? Arthur!, The Other People, The Madwoman of Chaillot, A Story of David, and Spare the Rod. James Coburn: Charade, The Americanization of Emily, The Magnificent Seven, Hell Is for Heroes, The Great Escape, Our Man Flint, In Like Flint, The Man from Galveston, The Murder Men, Hell Is for Heroes, What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?, Duffy, Candy, The President's Analyst, Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round, Waterhole No. 3, Major Dundee, A High Wind in Jamaica, The Loved One, and Hard Contract. Cary Grant: Charade, The Grass Is Greener, That Touch of Mink, Walk, Don't Run, and Father Goose. Horst Buchholz: The Magnificent Seven, One, Two, Three, Fanny, Nine Hours to Rama, Marco the Magnificent, The Empty Canvas, Ankle Bone, Cervantes, That Man in Istanbul, Johnny Banco, and How, When and with Whom. Jackie Gleason: Soldier in the Rain, The Hustler, Gigot, Requiem for a Heavyweight, Skidoo, Papa's Delicate Condition, How to Commit Marriage, and Don't Drink the Water. Arthur Kennedy: Lawrence of Arabia, Barabbas, Hemingway's Adventures of a Young Man, Claudelle Inglish, Cheyenne Autumn, Murder, She Said, Anzio, Shark!, A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die, Hail, Hero!, Nevada Smith,Murieta, Fantastic Voyage, Attack and Retreat, Joy in the Morning, Monday's Child, and Day of the Evil Gun. Peter Finch: Kidnapped, The Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Day, No Love for Johnnie, In the Cool of the Day, I Thank a Fool, Girl with Green Eyes, The Pumpkin Eater, The Flight of the Phoenix, Judith, First Men in the Moon, Far from the Madding Crowd, 10:30 P.M. Summer, Come Spy with Me, The Greatest Mother of Them All, The Legend of Lylah Clare, and The Red Tent. Hugh Griffith: How to Steal a Million,Exodus, Mutiny on the Bounty, Oliver!, The Counterfeit Traitor, The Citadel, Point of Departure, The Day They Robbed the Bank of England, The Inspector, Tom Jones, Term of Trial, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, Hide and Seek, The Bargee, The Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders, On My Way to the Crusades, I Met a Girl Who..., Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad, The Sailor from Gibraltar, The Fixer, Il marito è mio e l'ammazzo quando mi pare, and Brown Eye, Evil Eye. Jason Robards: A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Hour of the Gun, Long Day's Journey into Night, A Thousand Clowns, Act One, By Love Possessed, Isadora, Tender Is the Night, Divorce American Style, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, Any Wednesday, Once Upon a Time in the West, and The Night They Raided Minsky's. George Seagel: The Southern Star, No Way to Treat a Lady, Invitation to a Gunfighter, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Lost Command, The Quiller Memorandum, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, King Rat, Act One, The Young Doctors, The Bridge at Remagen, The Girl Who Couldn't Say No, Bye Bye Braverman, and The New Interns. Rod Taylor: Chuka, The Time Machine, Sunday in New York, The Glass Bottom Boat, 36 Hours, The Birds, Hotel, Nobody Runs Forever, The Hell with Heroes, One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Seven Seas to Calais, Colossus and the Amazon Queen, Dark of the Sun, The Liquidator, Young Cassidy, Fate Is the Hunter, Do Not Disturb, and A Gathering of Eagles. Robert Ryan: Ice Palace, Billy Budd, The Longest Day, The Wild Bunch, The Dirty Dozen, Battle of the Bulge, The Professionals, Anzio, Captain Nemo and the Underwater City, A Minute to Pray, a Second to Die, Hour of the Gun, Custer of the West, The Busy Body, The Canadians, King of Kings, and The Crooked Road. Christopher Plummer: Battle of Britain, The Sound of Music, The Fall of the Roman Empire, Inside Daisy Clover, The Royal Hunt of the Sun, Lock Up Your Daughters, Nobody Runs Forever, Oedipus the King, The Night of the Generals, and Triple Cross. Michel Piccoli: Le Doulos, Contempt, Diary of a Chambermaid, La Guerre Est Finit, Les Creatures, The Young Girls of Rochefort, Belle De Jour, Danger: Diabolik, Dillinger is Dead, The Milky Way, Topaz, Lady L, The Day and the Hour, Masquerade, L'Invitée, Climats, Les Petits Drames, Adieu Philippine, La dragée haute, Le Bal des espions, Amazons of Rome, All About Loving, The Sleeping Car Murders, The War Is Over, The Game Is Over, Belle de Jour, Benjamin, Shock Troops, La Chamade, and La Prisonnière. Tatsuya Nakadai: When a Woman Ascends the Stairs, Yojimbo,The Human Condition: A Soldier's Prayer, Immortal Love, Sanjuro, Harakiri ,High and Low, Kwaidan, The Sword of Doom, The Face of Another, Samurai Rebellion, Kill!, Goyokin, Portrait of Hell, Get 'em All, Daughters, Wives and a Mother ,Miren, A Woman's Life, Pressure of Guilt, Love Under the Crucifix, The Blue Beast, The Other Women, Kumo ga chigieru toki, Hakari, The Legacy of the 500,000, Saigo no shinpan, Blood End, Arijigoku sakusen, Kwaidan, Saigo no shinpan, Fort Graveyard, Cash Calls Hell, Illusion of Blood, Kojiro, The Age of Assassins, The Daphne, Today We Kill... Tomorrow We Die!, Rengō Kantai Shirei Chōkan: Yamamoto Isoroku, Blood End, Hitokiri, Eiko's 5000 Kilograms, and The Battle of the Japan Sea. James Mason: Lolita, Duffy, Mayerling, The Sea Gull, Age of Consent, The Blue Max, Stranger in the House, The Deadly Affair, Georgy Girl, The Fall of the Roman Empire, The Pumpkin Eater, Genghis Khan, Lord Jim, The Uninhibited, Hero's Island, Torpedo Bay, Tiara Tahiti, The Trials of Oscar Wilde, The Marriage-Go-Round, and Escape from Zahrain. Vincent Price: The Last Man on Earth, Witchfinder General, Convicts 4, Confessions of an Opium Eater, Tower of London, Tales of Terror, The Raven, Diary of a Madman, The Haunted Palace, The Masque of the Red Death, The Tomb of Ligeia, Twice-Told Tales, Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, The Comedy of Terrors, City Under the Sea, The House of 1,000 Dolls, The Pit and the Pendulum, Nefertiti, Queen of the Nile, Rage of the Buccaneers, Beach Party, House of Usher, Master of the World, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, Spirits of the Dead, The Trouble with Girls, The Jackals, More Dead Than Alive, and The Oblong Box. Jack Nicholson: The Raven, Easy Rider, The Little Shop of Horrors, The Shooting, Head, Hells Angels on Wheels, The Trip, The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, Psych-Out, Thunder Island, Back Door to Hell, Ride in the Whirlwind, Flight to Fury, The Wild Ride, The Broken Land, Studs Lonigan, Too Soon to Love, and The Terror. Rock Hudson: Lover Come Back, Send Me No Flowers, The Last Sunset, Marilyn, The Spiral Road, Come September, Strange Bedfellows, Man's Favorite Sport?, A Gathering of Eagles, A Very Special Favor, Seconds, Tobruk, Ice Station Zebra, The Undefeated, Blindfold, and A Fine Pair. Charlton Heston: El Cid, The Pigeon That Took Rome, 55 Days at Peking, The Greatest Story Ever Told, While I Run This Race, All About People, The Agony and the Ecstasy, Number One, Planet of the Apes, Counterpoint, Will Penny, Major Dundee, Khartoum, The War Lord, The Five Cities of June, and Diamond Head. John Gavin: Psycho, Midnight Lace, Back Street, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Thoroughly Modern Millie, OSS 117 – Double Agent, Tammy Tell Me True, Spartacus, Pedro Páramo, A Breath of Scandal, and Romanoff and Juliet. Stephen Boyd: Lisa, Billy Rose's Jumbo, Fantastic Voyage, The Poppy Is Also a Flower, The Big Gamble, Slaves, The Caper of the Golden Bulls, Shalako, Assignment K, The Bible: In the Beginning..., The Fall of the Roman Empire, Genghis Khan, The Oscar, The Third Secret, and Imperial Venus. Dick Van Dyke: Bye Bye Birdie, Mary Poppins, Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N., The Art of Love, What a Way to Go!, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Divorce American Style, The Comic, Some Kind of a Nut, Fitzwilly, and Never a Dull Moment.
For employees and players who play enough to be called regulars at their casinos, describe the regular you would consider the worst one to play with. Not because of playing badly, the worst personality.
Include interesting anecdotes about them and general things about them that make them the worst. Mine is strange in that I only dealt to her once, but my roommate was a dealer for 3 years before I became one, and I heard more than enough stories from him about her before I met her. As I said I only dealt to her once but that's all it took to confirm everything be told me over 3 years. So I'll tell two of his stories. This woman was about 80 years old. Wheelchair bound but needed to be in the normal chairs to be able to see. She would piss her pants every session but not go cleanup until she was done playing. She never tipped a soul a dollar, and was the player who would win 10 flat bets in a row then finally stack one chip on her bet and I would get a blackjack with a ten up, and say "fucking of course, I raise my bet and you get a fucking blackjack and what a surprise I couldn't even buy goddamn insurance" like she had lost the last 10 instead. There was one time he got 3 BJs in a row against her, and she didn't say a word she just stared at him for about 10 seconds before betting again. about 8 seconds later he was informed why she didn't chew his head off. She instead tried to shit his nose off. This woman shit her pants in that chair. And played the rest of his shift without ever leaving the table. His replacement showed up and he clapped off and she colored up and left. About 4 more hours. Absolute savagery at its most disgusting... Yet you almost have to respect the will and determination to let him know just how much you hate him for those 3 BJs. Shit your pants and then play like a shoe, then hotel room clean up and change underwear at least. But to literally sit there until the very second he will not be suffering anymore and then leave is just, it's a special kind of years of experience in getting revenge on those you hate. The other was what finally ended up having the manager swing the permabanhammer on her. One day she colored up a couple black chips and needed help back into her wheelchair. The other player stands up to help her. She "accidentally?" Dropped one of the black chips on the floor as she was turning to step down. The player just happened to step on it when he got up, and she proceeded to accuse this player to the pit boss of attempting to steal it from her by claiming "this fucking nigger tried putting his foot on my fucking money and was going to steal it!" Yes he was a 20 something black man and she an 80 year old white lady. Racism = take it somewhere else forever at my casino. Sorry for the long read I didn't intend that when I started typing this post and all of the memories of my old roommates stories and rage came flooding back.
23 year old here, majoring in Economics and still in University, last semester. I lived over an hour away from campus and I knew a lot of people that played poker from playing at the Casino, PPPoker, other home games and PPPoker clubs. I wanted to live closer to university and worked out a plan with a close friend where we would use his parent's investment apartment near the city to run these games in. I mainly ran 2/5 or 5/10 NLH games with the occasional 10/20 PLO game which was a rake machine. I also ran short deck which made a lot of rake and was fun to deal/host/play in. We ran twice a week, made about $800 to $1200 per session each from the rake. I paid $300 for rent per week which is insane for an expensive city like mine, especially since it's just my friend and I in a spacious apartment 20 floors up. We had to stop eventually since our game got a little too out of hand, having too many dodgy people around stealing things, doing illegal shit and generally being a huge pain to deal with. I've seen my share of scum, good, funny and sad. Ask away!
Intercept a shipment and add something to the cargo (undetected) u/World_of_Ideas
Sneak into a secure facility and plant surveillance bugs u/World_of_Ideas
Sneak into a secure facility and plant a virus on their secure server u/World_of_Ideas
Spy on "x" person. Find out: where they go, what they do, who they talk to, how they evade surveillance u/World_of_Ideas
Theft or destruction of a defective prototype. Company can make an insurance claim instead of losing all the money that R&D dumped into it u/World_of_Ideas
Cleanup crew after a dirty fight. To throw of police and leave fake evidence u/TheWoodcarveree
Make the plot of the campaign based on Front Line Assembly video for "Mindphaser", using the plot of GunHead, to find Texmexium in a forgotten AI core on an abandoned island. Then things go inexplicably weird and south from there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJdt25fl9oIu/OctopusMugs
Kidnap an industrial band so that a corporation can make brain tapes of them. the party then has to dump the comatose bodies at an organ dealer. after they do that as they travel through the city the band's now uploaded consciousness has begun to take over billboards, tv stations and radios and are whipping up anti corporate anarchist mobs. They have to chose to let it be, or take the money the company is offering to go steal the bodies back so they can purge their system. u/OctopusMugs
One of the party members has become addicted to a VR game. The party has to decide if they want to help break the addition, or help them get a fix and have to find the source of the new VR drug, (and if do they stop it or try to get a cut?). u/OctopusMugs
The party has to smuggle a crate of books (now illegal) into the city to an unlicensed learning center run by an artist's collective for escaped bioroids. (hey, do you want to have fun with your party? one of the books is the King In Yellow so also a way to do a Cthulhu tie in) u/OctopusMugs
The party has to infiltrate a corporate run jail to take out an informant. while they are there it becomes apparent there are sinister experiments using the prisoners by the corporation u/OctopusMugs
Find and kidnap children with strange abilities and bring them to a lab. u/chlorinecrownt
Break children with strange abilities out of a lab that is torturing them in the course of study. u/chlorinecrownt
Provide security for negotiations between rival (gangs, corporations). u/World_of_Ideas
Investigate the crash site of a transport that was carrying classified (passengers, equipment, prototypes). u/World_of_Ideas
Infiltrate a black market auction. Acquire "x" item(s) that they are selling by any means. u/World_of_Ideas
Find the thieves who stole "x". Reacquire "x" by any means. u/World_of_Ideas
Sneak into a secure facility. Sabotage "x" prototype or steal and replace prototype with a defective version. Must be done before (public reveal, "x" series of testing) u/World_of_Ideas
Shadow a corporate (exec, IT specialist, janitor, office worker, scientist, security guard). Acquire copies of their security keys (finger prints, palm print, voice print, retinal scan, DNA, key cards, physical keys, ID badge, ID chip, pass codes, etc) without being noticed. u/World_of_Ideas
It was at the tail end of a long shift at 7-11, getting close to midnight. Business had been brisk all day but now there was only the customers going on beer runs and the night shift grabbing coffee and donuts. I manned my till, smiled at people by reflex, and swept every so often. A man with a hoodie, glasses, and a dark green jacket approached the counter. As I started my spiel, he shocked me out of my autopilot by pulling a black handgun from his coat pocket, leveling it at my chest, and then stating his intention to rob the place. “I see,” I said. “This is highly irregular.” “It is,” he agreed. “Yet here we are.” “I suppose you’ve given no thought to the long term viability of your chosen profession? Armed robbery is a notoriously unstable field. The cash in this register looks like a lot, if you grew up with little, but a simple cost benefit analysis will show clearly that the money here is almost comically small compared to the risks one must take to, well, take it. The possibility of arrest, being tackled by a bystander, the small but worrying possibility that I too have a concealed firearm about my person... sure, each individual robbery seems like a slam dunk, but in aggregate the risks are appalling and the payoff is almost the same as a 9 to 5 job. Imagine, if you will, a game of chance at a casino. You must place $200 on the table to play. The dealer takes a deck of cards and draws one at random. If it is any card other than the Ace of Spades, you the gambler earn $1. But if the Ace of Spades is drawn, you lose your $200 stake. “Obviously,” I continued, “on any given draw you are likely to win a dollar. But in the long run, the house always wins- 1 in 52 draws will ruin you, so for every $51 you win, you have to pay $200. It is a fool’s game you are playing.” “We are of an accord,” he said. “I am no mere thug who draws a weapon without thought. I am a man of action, but action must include forethought. “The risks that armed robbers assume are high, as you say. But risks can be compensated for. I have cased this shop for a week- I am familiar with every route in and out. My car is parked the ideal distance away- close enough that I can get to it rapidly, far enough away that no camera can see or witness tie me to it. The camera will not show much with this hoodie and fake glasses. I specifically targeted you here because I live several towns over, so investigating cops will not patrol my own streets. And as long as I do not kill you, this remains a robbery, not a murder. Police budget is tight this fiscal year- criminal investigations must be prioritized. “A gamble I am taking, to be sure,” said the gunman. “But a calculated one. The odds are much more favorable than your posited 52 to 200. I have adjusted them in my favor, and so roll the dice gladly.” I nodded. “Impressive.” “Thank you.” “If appeals to practical costs avail nothing, let me try a new line of attack. Many people think their thievery is directed at some faceless corporation, and therefore bypasses the standard morality of ‘Thou shalt not steal.’ On the surface, perhaps; the store has an insurance policy that covers shoplifting and vandals and robbers. The money stolen from the till will indeed be replaced by a faceless insurance company a day or two after my boss fills out the paperwork. But the simple fact is that the insurance company charges a premium for its services- that cost to doing business is passed on to the consumer by way of pricing. Those bags of candy and the energy drinks in the cooler and the peanuts and the muffins and the ice cream and the beer and the chips and the sodas and the apples and the Advil and the coffee and the Mac ‘n’ Cheese bowls are all expensive as fuck. The mark ups around here are staggering. They have to be. Individuals like yourself force the high pricing to compensate for the premium; just as you have proactively adjusted the odds in your favor, so too do the insurance men. You are not stealing from me, you are not stealing from my boss, and you are not stealing from the 7-11 company, or the insurance agency for that. You are stealing from your fellow citizens. Would you not rather point that gun at an old lady as she walks down the street? Would you be willing to rob a hardworking family man who needs food stamps to get by? Would it not be easier to threaten a child of eight for his pocket change?” “In a word, yes,” said the gunman. “I am aware that I am exploiting society as a whole, and not merely one tiny little subsection of it. But you have not considered carefully enough the structure of the world. “Remember the great Libertarian doctrine that taxation is theft. Therefore, in mathematical certainty, theft is also taxation. Now, you apparently acknowledge the right of the government to steal your money- I suspect you are not plotting anarchist revolution in your spare time. So what line can you draw in the sand between me and the IRS? “That question is rhetorical and easily countered, of course. I am not the government. But the line is drawn because of scale, not of type. Refusal to pay taxes will, eventually and with enough lines crossed, result in armed men visiting your home to take you to prison. I at least am upfront about my coercion. That upfrontness costs me badly, for I have no ‘legitimacy’ per se. The closest historical parallel may be this. Under the Byzantine empire, serfs- which is the closest label the situation has to wageslaves such as yourself, no offense- paid taxes to the Augustus, and considered it to be approximately dead center of the Overton Window. The Byzantines had royal pomp, army after army of soldiers to collect the taxes, centuries of tradition and shared culture bolstering them, and most importantly of all, an obligation to organize and fund large scale civic projects to the benefits of the taxed peasants.” “I was about to say,” I interjected. “You beat me to it. ‘No taxation without representation’ was going to be how I would have phrased it, for the government spends the money to the communal good, in theory, and I get a small say in how and where.” “I could easily challenge that,” said the gunman with a sardonic smile. “If representative democracy indeed dead in the water, what responsibilities have we to preserve the interests of the government?” “A recognition that the government and society are distinct, and that wanton crime harms the second even worse than the first? Honestly. This seems like self-justifying sophistry on your part.” The gunman shrugged. “It is what it is. To get back to the Byzantine metaphor. The peasant, i.e. you, does not do more than grumble when the tax collector comes, for the tax collect has that mystical property of legitimacy. But there is another faction in the world- the Mongol, the Goth, the Vandal, the barbarian from outside the known world who deals in raw violence. The barbarian holds a sword in his hand-“ and here the gunman wiggled his handgun suggestively- “and demands gold. The barbarian lacks legitimacy, to be sure, but one can hardly argue that his position is without merit.” “At least one of us is deeply confused,” I said. “You seem to be justifying yourself by the savage and inhuman doctrine of Might Makes Right. Yet you claim to be in the right by equating your barbarism (your word, not mine) with a legitimate system of government whose very cornerstone is that Might Does Not Make Right.” “You miss a vital piece of the puzzle, which is this: society is not on my side. That ‘legitimate system of government’ representing me and my community does not work to my prosperity. I have sworn no metaphorical oaths of allegiance to the Augustus, and I have sworn no literal oaths of allegiance to the system of government in the here and now. I deny the very concept that the Law is holy and must be obeyed for the common good, for the common good is none of mine. Imagine, if you will, standing before the Heavenly throne as a fresh soul that has never touched flesh before. God says to you, ‘Look, I’m going to send you on down there for a lifetime until you come back to me. You get a choice- you can either be a peasant who works 14 hour days and lives in a mud hut and will be abused and exploited every day of his life, or you can be a one of the Mongol horse archers who lives and dies by the sword. What’s your poison?’ I happen to find myself (quite inadvertently, for I did not as a child dream of a career as an armed robber) in such a position. Who could blame such a soul for choosing the sword instead of the plow?” “Me,” I said. “I can blame you. I hate working for a living too. But I’m behind this counter trading time and energy for cash, and the society that gave birth to me, raised me, protected me, and will one day bury me is slightly better for it. Every impulse towards civilization starts with people like me plugging away at it and contributing to the present and the future, in a spirit of thankfulness for the past.” “Admirable,” said the gunman. “I for one would rather cut off my right hand than to gainsay a man such as you in your lifelong devotion to civic virtue. But I won’t. You shall go your way, and me mine, and we shall both be content.” “Shall we? Shall we truly both be content? Should a cancer patient try to live and let live with the tumor inside him? Shall a lifeboat of marooned sailors agree to disagree with the man who steals the rationed food and water while the others endure with little? Can there truly be anything but war between us- war in the abstract and at a remove, to be sure, but war nonetheless? Those Mongols and Vandals you invoked were met by force of arms, if you’ll recall.” “Society is specialized and stratified- I’m sure you know the old rhyme. ‘Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man, poor man, beggar man-‘ “ “ ‘Thief.’ Yes, I’m familiar with it. You’re saying that society can tolerate bad actors to a degree.” “You have a pretty firm alliance with the bacteria in your stomach, I will say that. That alliance would be imposed by the little wrigglers even if they didn’t contribute to the body as a whole. It seems to work out for everyone. And we’ve already covered how and why I’m willing to try my luck against the specialized profession that is designed to counter me. Society through the government has imposed its prohibitions and laid out its enforcement mechanism; it has done its job. If I can successfully navigate my way to profit through the tangled web of both the rule and the enforcers, well, more power to me. If you think otherwise, then may I ask why you do not descend upon the lawless life-stealers of Wall Street with fire and sword? One white collar guy playing jump rope with the law can wipe out the life savings of hundreds and thousands of families with a click of a mouse.” I considered this thoughtfully. “I assume there is no point in pitching you the idea of meaningful education and gainful employment as surer paths to success than armed robbery.” “I already weighed such options. The problem is that I’m good at plotting methods to attack people and places, and I’m good with guns. Hence why I’m here. Like my old man would say, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” The gunman sighed. “Earlier, you accused me of sophistry. I’m afraid that is basically accurate. All the rhetoric followed after the impulse. And the impulse is as simple as any other great truth around which a life can revolve. That truth is this- I am a man. I was designed by God or by nature to stand tall, to own a permanent and invulnerable home, to set my life as I see fit, and to enjoy the fruit of my own labor. I was meant to join with likeminded folk in a spirit of camaraderie and community and to take no abuse from anyone. I am a man. I was supposed to build, to fix what was passed down to me, to fight in defense of everything that is valuable and irreplaceable. “And I can’t. It just isn’t an option anymore. My work is done for the profit of others. The egalitarian spirit that all men are created equal- not in ability, but in worth- has been denied and sneered at for too long. The sanctity of my home has been violated; can not the police shatter my door and shoot my dog as they see fit? Even the simple assertion that a man must fight a bully has been barred by law, for honest fights in defense of self-worth and self-esteem have been banned, even as the law had banned the perverse aristocratic imitation of dueling. Were a man to spit on me and call me a faggot or a nigger or a dumb fucking chink or a retard or a sister-fucker, and I was to break his nose for the insult, the police would crackdown on me and ruin my life with an assault charge. It is too late to fight for that which is valuable and irreplaceable; that fight is over and my side lost. How can a free man with pride exist under such conditions? How can a tree grow from salted soil? “I am a man, and I will not be a slave. I am undoubtedly better off than a slave in chains, but a slave to circumstance is still not free. Well, I will live as a warrior before kneeling as a serf. The savage liberty of the barbarian at the gates is a pale imitation of the free man in a just and democratic society, but I will take the imitation since it’s all that is left for me. If I seize not the gun, I will live for decades as a servant to ‘better’ men; and I shall not. “If I fall into foolish logic puzzles and contradictions trying to turn this impulse into words, so be it. The impulse remains nonetheless.” I nodded. “Tell you what-“ I grabbed a receipt someone had left behind before the gunman showed up at my store and scribbled some numbers on it, hiding my writing from him. I stuffed the number in my pocket. “The register doesn’t open without this number. I absolutely refuse to open the till for you, but if you gun me down, you can grab that note and open it yourself.” “I could beat you up and just take the note without killing you, perhaps? If I shoot you, well, that impacts my odds of capture.” “Yes,” I said, “but I have a box cutter here that I use to break down cardboard in the back. I don’t know if I can win, but I can make you kill me to avoid getting slashed up. I assume you would not want drops of your blood at the crime scene.” “Very true. And I appreciate the sporting gesture of writing the number down.” “So here we are. You want the money, which I estimate to be about $1,200 between the two registers, you need to shed blood.” The silence hung heavy over everything else. My chest was tight and my breathing was shallow. The gunman held his gun at a forty five degree angle aimed at the counter between us, and it wavered up and down slightly, as though he was trying to decide whether or not to kill me. “I’m honestly not clear what your angle here is,” he said. “This is contrary to store policy, surely; you’re supposed to just give me the money.” “My angle is the same as yours, really. I too am a man, and I too chafe under the modern destruction of liberty. And I too yearn to fight in a holy crusade in defense of all that is valuable and irreplaceable. Today, that means I’m going to make you kill me. That’s what civilized men do when the barbarians are at the gate. You aren’t an idiot, you know damn well that if you carry that gun into enough shoppettes eventually you’ll have to kill someone. You appear to have accepted the possibility. Well, it’s no mere possibility now. You want the money, kill me. Smell the gunpowder in the air, feel the gunshot ring your ears, see the dark blood pool under me spread and spread and spread. Feel your hands shake as the enormity of what you’ve done sinks in. Motherfucker, I am a man, and you don’t get to rob my store without paying the price for it.” The gunman stared hard into my eyes, and myself not being a poker player at all I could not read the intent. “I don’t really have to, do I? There are other stores. Hell, I can come back tomorrow and see if whoever is on shift then has less spine. My plan is still basically sound.” “Pure cowardice. If you aren’t willing to be a proper Mongol and commit to barbarism, you have no business pretending you are a barbarian. If you refuse to kill me tonight, what do you intend to do in a month when someone tries to tackle you from behind mid-robbery? Stop being a little bitch and either open fire or get the fuck out of my store.” He raised the gun in one smooth motion, leveling it in my face just far enough away that I could not lunge forward to try to grab it. He said something, but I didn’t hear it. I was staring at the muzzle too hard. When he left, I don’t think he was truly any happier than he was before.
Background: I've worked in the casino business for 16 years; started off working in the kitchens, and worked my way up to being a Casino Host in about 10 years, so I know all the ins and outs of the business in order to make our most Elite Players as comfortable and fun as possible (no I've never got to serve any celebrities, there's another host above me who's there, just for that privilege). I worked there for a couple more years, even after finishing college and getting the degrees I wanted. All helped paid for by the casino for my loyal service. Thanks again! The Scene: I'm out alone celebrating a promotion lined up for me at my new job that I've been working for the last 2 years. I was on good terms with everyone when I left, and said hello and caught up with a few of them, even getting free drinks from the service girls as a congratulations. Since I know how hard they all work, I tip everyone I meet very generously. Unfortunately this means that my old patrons/players/guests, you name it, also remember me. And one in particular (the Karen) treats everyone like shit. I've known and hosted her for years, so I know everything she likes and hates. She's been banned on multiple occasions for harassing other Players. Once, she threw one of those HUGE margaritas that you are supposed to share with 4 people, off of a balcony and gave another player who it hit a concussion. Of course, this lady spends so much money at the casino, that the worst that happened was she got banned for a year, and settled out of court with the other lady she hit with the margarita. It sucks that she's one of the wealthier patrons of the casino, spending millions every year at our establishment, yet always says she'll never come back, because she never wins and the service is absolute shit (mainly in regards to me, despite doing everything she has ever asked of me, exactly as she asked). She sees me having a drink at one of the bars, and decides to try and ruin my good time. K: "Hey Led-rain, why haven't I seen you in a while?" Me: "Oh hey" feigning like I'm glad to see her (I'm really not) "I'm just out having a few drinks, figured I'd check out my old stomping grounds, how've you-" She rolls her eyes at me, like I'm boring her to death, Nothing I haven't seen before, and interrupts me. Her face and attitude change like she's some high class bitch talking down to a peasant. Something I see a lot of rich people do. K: "Great, great, since you aren't doing anything, go cash out my chips for me, those fucking cunts behind the counter won't pay me out since I'm over the cash-out limit, and I left my license upstairs back in the shitty fucking room they gave me. (I never understood why people don't carry ID on them in a casino. This is a problem that happens way too often, so people CARRY YOUR ID AT ALL TIMES) Also, there's a certain threshold of money that the cashiers are NOT allowed to cash out WITHOUT proper ID. It's really not a big deal, it's mainly for in-house auditing, and in NO WAY has to do with taxes. Those are mainly Jackpots and Promotional winners. We try to make things easier, but some people live to make others lives difficult. Like Karen. Me: I would, but I really don't want- K: Just shut the fuck up and do what I tell you, or are you too fucking stupid to follow simple instructions. Get it done, or I'll find out where you DO work, and, NOT only will I get you fired, but you'll be living in the gutter for the rest of your life. It takes everything I have not to snap. So I bite my tongue as I start to come up with how I'm going to get back at this woman. Me: Okay, Karen. Give me everything you have, and I'll take care of it. " I say as calmly as I can. K: I so have you by the balls. Fucking dickless pussy. Oh and don't tip yourself, I know you make more than minimum wage here. So it's not like you need it or anything. (I'm not comfortable tipping myself with clients I am on the BEST terms with, but i'm ready to snap with this woman) She dumps THOUSANDS (Roughly $10k) of dollars worth of chips on the bar counter, not even caring that a few $100 ones end up rolling on the ground and into the bar keepers area (who kindly helps me gather them up). She leaves, and I'm shaking in fury, until I calm myself enough to go through with my plan, and start gathering all the chips into a couple Racks that were conveniently nearby. The barkeep, Chris (fake name), asks if I'm okay; having seen the whole exchange. I hand him THREE of the $100 chips, with a malicious smile on my face. "It's going to be a good night for the staff." I said. "Fucking do it man." Chris cheered me on. And I went off handing chips off to any casino employees I run across. I had to go to the cashiers to break up a couple $1000 chips, and gave them a $100 each. In less than an hour, I had given away nearly $10000, and I just left. I got a call from one of my old work buddies about the shit-storm Karen threw when she found out I had given all her money away. She PUNCHED the Executive Host in the face and is now perma banned from the casino, and blacklisted from several others. With an assault charge on top. When she GAVE me her chips, it looked exactly like that on the cameras. She had GIVEN me chips, and she forgot to tell me where/when to meet her in order to get them back. And since I was another Casino Patron, that amounted to Abandoned Cash. Basically, if you're careless enough to leave behind, or in Karens case, GIVE AWAY money, then that money doesn't belong to anyone; and it's finders keepers at that point. Even if I stayed and got caught/questioned. Then the worst they could ever do to me was ask for the money back, and if I refused, then it would be a three day ban and an immediate escort out of the casino. I know $10000 is a drop in the bucket to Karen, but the blow to her ego is worth so, so much more. EDIT: Casinos are supposed to be a fun environment. You can't have fun if people are constantly suing or getting banned from the casino (hence the light ban sentences). If they ban their Patrons, the casino suffers, and they don't make money. It's better to let the person go free, and have them come back a few days later and spend all that cash that they've "Stolen". Not all casinos are the same. But at mine, this is how things were handled. It would've only been stealing had I done anything other than sit there and accept the chips. It was Karen's stupidity and arrogance that lost her all that money. Casinos DO keep track of how much a person spends. And Karen would spend MILLIONS. EDIT2: Not all bans are equal. I do know of some wealthy multi-millionaires that were perma banned within a few hours because of how they treated the female wait staff. We already had a heads up about these 2, since they were banned earlier that night from another casino and drove 3 hours to come to ours. They were textbook misogynists. Grabbing girls under their skirts. Forcing them to sit in their laps. Horrible behavior from 2 twenty-something year old men. They made the woman who was dealing Blackjack cry her eyes out. I knew her; this girl had been with the casino for DECADES, she had skin like iron. But they broke her down in no time. Our Executive Director (the highest position in a Casino, think CEO of a casino) gave an order I will never forget. The simple solution? Only have male staff serve them. Only male dealers, only male waiters. You name it. The guys were on it. Their attitude mellowed out for awhile, until they realized they weren't getting served by women anymore, and they started berating, and getting physical with the male staff. Our ED ordered them out and perma banned immediately. She, yes, SHE came to escort them out herself. LOL. God she was awesome!
Through out my life I've had some issues with my dreaming, either night terrors that i don't remember or sleep paralysis. In my early adult and recent adult years I've experienced what i believe is, Lucid dreaming. This only happens to me when i sleep at a time I'm not used to I.e taking naps at random times. Well i literally just had this dream about 10 minutes ago(i laid down to take a nap at like 9pm it is now 1050pm.) In that span of less than 2 hrs, my dream went like this... From where i became conscious of my dream i was working in a casino type building(Im an actual poker dealer irl). Picture a school cafeteria but with poker tables all lined up in the room. Its a dark room almost like a dilapidated place with hardly any light except for some small natural light coming through the ceiling glass panels. People are playing and laughing and I'm sitting in the dealers chair on one of the tables. its a full table(9 players) and im shuffling the cards like i would any normal day of work. I start to noticed weird things are happening. Some players are starting to get irritated and rude and i notice half of the deck of cards is slowly disappearing. I'm missing poker chips out of the dealers bank in front of me. I call a supervisor over, and its someone ive never seen before in my life and I'm trying but failing to explain the situation to her. Then someone comes to push me from the table so i can go to another. This is when my dream switches up on me and i find myself in the kitchen, its a school kitchen and is shaped like a long hallway with the appliances lined up on the walls. I see a woman another ive never met before running towards the end of the kitchen yelling at someone, this person was apparently trying to steal something and she was chasing after him. Out the door and into the street where he took off in an getaway car. There was a license plate that i identified for the police and kept repeating it in my dream so i could remember it for them. As im walking back to the building for whatever reason i have this can of salt that I'm spreading around the ground (i have no idea what that's about). I'm walking past a group of people sitting on chairs outside about to watch a movie on a projector(also random af) and there like this impending doom feeling around me as i walk back inside. Then the people who originally came to rob the place were back and they brought guns this time. I'm frantically trying to call 911 repeatedly as I'm getting no signal on my Nextel flip phone(of all the phones to possibly have in a dream). I'm trying to frantically run to the entrance and help get people out of the building. Then i find myself on top of this dome shaped glass ceiling looking at all this craziness unfold under me. All while this is happening to the background sound of an ACDC song that had apparently been playing on the TV and found its way into my dream. and that's when i woke up from panicking too hard. i only say i think this was a lucid dream because I was making conscious or what i thought were conscious decisions throughout it in every scenario. Interpretations are welcome.
Ace, Gambling Extraordinaire (Revised and Updated)
Based on the feedback and criticism I received when I made him, I decided to redesign him to make the RNG aspect a little less bullsh*t. So, here is the remade version of Ace! If you aren't willing to read the whole thing to find differences, basically I changed it from randomly using one possibility on cast of an ability or reload, the possibility is preset on spawn. I also slightly tweaked Lucky Coin from Final Gambit to have all buffs apply and other slight fixes. I added the Epic skin that I wasn't able to think of, and backstory remains the same.
"When the cards are down, I'm always on top."
Profile Real Name: Tristan Alleo Age: 19 Occupation: Criminal, Gambler Affiliation: The Ace In The Hole Story (If this is too vague for you, this link will bring you to his full story) A boy ignored for all his life, He had it hard and filled with strife. Ignored by siblings, unseen by his parents To everyone else, he was nothing, transparent “I’ll show them all!” he thought one day “I will make them see it my way!” And so, with that, he put forth a guise Built off of deception and lies Talented and cunning, clever and smart He knew just how to break one’s heart With this persona, he committed some crimes And he did it again, so many times All his life, he had tried to belong Only now does he see he was oh so wrong A boy ignored, but it’s all the same. Now they all shall know his name. - A note left in a robbed bank vault, alongside a bloodied Ace of Spades Gameplay Health: 200 Role: Damage Difficulty: * * * Strengths: Ability to surprise enemies with new abilities each life, high and consistent damage at medium and short range Weaknesses: Lack of movement options, possibility of not getting any good abilities General Strategy: Due to the changes, the strategy changes a lot. You still generally play like Mccree, playing at medium to close range, attempting to 1v1. However, each unique loadout will change your strategy immensely, so play to it. The Royal Flush will be the most important factor in your strategy, so keep an eye on what loadout you have for it. Loaded Die is still best kept for crowd control, especially behind shields. Card Trick is still best for quick damage in a 1v1, and Coin Toss is still good for initiating fights, especially 1v1s. For Final Gambit, Bag of Dice and 52 Pickup are best for area denial and crowd control, while Lucky Coin is good for making a push or starting a large team fight. Passive: Play The Odds Ace, ever eccentric, designed his gun and tools very uniquely, allowing multiple versions to be used. On spawn and respawn, a random ammo type, Loaded Die number, Card Trick card, Coin Toss coin side, and ultimate are chosen from available options. These persist until you die and respawn again. Primary Fire: Royal Flush Ace's specially made pistol has been modeled to fire four types of ammunition, each with unique stats.
Spade Shot - His Ace in the hole, the Spade Shot is a massive round that deals heavy damage.
Hitscan
Holds 1 shot, fires 1 shot per second
120 damage with falloff, reducing to 90, falloff range being 30-45 meters
Can headshot
Club Rounds - The most unique type, the Clubs Rounds split into three pieces on fire.
Arcing, at 40m/sec
Holds 21 shots, fires 1 shot per 0.8 seconds, uses three bullets per shot
25 damage per round
Cannot headshot
Diamond Bullet - Standard issue ammunition, stylized just for Ace.
Hitscan
Holds 13 shots, fires 2 shots per second
50 damage with falloff, reducing to 30 falloff range being 25-45 meters
Can headshot
Hearts of Lead - Powerful at any range, his Hearts of Lead are illegal in many countries.
Linear, at 80m/sec
Holds 6 shots, fires 1 shot per 0.75 seconds
65 damage with no falloff
Can headshot
Reload time: 0.5 seconds
Beside the ammo count, the corresponding suit symbol is shown to indicate what you are firing
For comparisons, Zenyatta's Orbs of Destruction move at 90m/sec
Ability 1: Loaded Die Ace throws out a grenade, stylized as a die.
Casting time: 0.1 seconds
Projectile type: Arcing projectile
Possibilities:
1: Radius of 3 meters, damage of 60, projectile speed of 30m/sec, explodes on contact
2: Radius of 5 meters, damage of 30, projectile speed of 50m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 3 bounces, disables abilities for 3 seconds
3: Radius of 4 meters, damage of 70, projectile speed of 20m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 10 bounces, damages Ace for 50
4: Radius of 2.5 meters, damage of 60, projectile speed of 25m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 5 bounces, actively seeks out enemies
5: Radius of 3 meters, damage of 40, projectile speed of 30m/sec, explodes on contact with a shield or after 6 bounces, contact with shield removes half the shields total health, actively seeks out shields
6: Radius of 4 meters, damage of 50, projectile speed of 40m/sec, explodes on contact, Ace heals for 50% of damage dealt or gains extra Armor if Health maxes out
Bouncing does include bouncing off walls, and all grenades except 5 go through shields without exploding
Cooldown: 9 seconds
For comparisons, Junkrat's Concussion Mines have a radius of 3m, and his Frag Launcher has a projectile speed of 25m/sec
Ability 2: Card Trick Ace takes a card from in his sleeve, and flings it forward.
Casting time: 0.2 seconds
Projectile type: Linear Projectile
Projectile speed: 60m/sec
Range limit: 40 meters
Possibilities:
Ace of Spades: Deals 75 damage, homes in on enemies.
Ace of Clubs: Deals 60 damage, after the Tricked Card moves 20 meters, splits into 3 pieces that travel at the same speed and deal 25 damage each
Ace of Hearts: Deals 50 damage, if the Tricked Card hits, Ace heals 80 health instantly.
Ace of Diamonds: Deals 60 damage, if the Tricked Card hits, target deals -25% damage for 7 seconds
Joker: Deals 30 damage, curves towards enemies, after the Tricked Card moves 30 meters, splits into 3 pieces that travel 50m/sec and deal 10 damage each, if the Tricked Card kills an enemy, Ace heals 50 Health and target deals -10% damage for 5 seconds (each split piece can individually trigger the healing and damage reduction)
Cooldown: 11 seconds
For comparisons, Zenyatta's Orbs of Destruction move at 90m/sec
Ability 3: Coin Toss Ace tosses a coin, either healing himself or buffing himself.
Cast time: 0.8 seconds
Duration: 7 seconds
Cooldown: 12 seconds
Heads
Healing: 100 Health over the duration
Damage taken: -10%
Tails
Damage buff: +50% damage
Speed buff: +25% movement speed
Ultimate: Final Gambit Ace uses a powered up version of one of his abilities. Ultimate Cost: 1890. To understand how Ultimate Costs work and how this affects things, I'll link the overwatch gamepedia on the subject: Link Here Bag of Dice Ace pulls out a bag, and throws it upwards. It explodes, and Loaded Dice start to rain from the sky.
Cast time: 0.3 seconds
Radius: 12 meters
Amount of Loaded Dice: 40
Duration: 8 seconds
As opposed to bouncing, the Loaded Dice explode on impact.
52 Pickup Ace pulls out a deck of cards, and flings it forwards. On contact, Tricked Cards start flying everywhere.
Cast time: 0.2 seconds
Projectile type: Linear
Projectile speed: 80m/sec
Amount of Tricked Cards: 52
Duration: 10 seconds
I'm the least sure of this one's balance. While 52 cards are a lot, they do spread out and fly in every possible direction, meaning it's a bit harder to be hit unless standing at the impact zone of the deck. Tell me your suggestions on how to tweak this one especially.
Lucky Coin Ace takes out his golden coin, and flips it. He buffs allies in a multitude of ways.
Radius: 10 meters
Cast time: 0.4 seconds
Duration: 10 seconds
Effects:
Each character heals half their health over the duration (ex. Roadhog heals 30 health per second, tracer heals 7.5 health per second)
Appearance: Ace is a light skinned male, standing 5 foot 3 inches, with a thinner body. He wears a long, flowing black suit jacket, with red running along the edges and his cuffs. In the inner pocket of his suit jacket, he has two pockets with decks of cards. Underneath this suit jacket, he wears a nice red suit, with a black Spade shaped bow tie. He wears a black top hat, with a red band running around it. Tucked into this band, you'll find an Ace of Hearts. On his face, he wears a mask that covers his eyes, with the right side being a red Diamond, and the left being a black Club. In his left hand, the one not holding his weapon, he has tucked a card up his sleeve. To get an idea at what his irregular suit jacket looks like compare to this image for the DnD Homebrew class Card Dealer.
Royal Flush: His weapon is a sleek jet black and crimson red pistol, with a black Spade on the barrel, a black Club on the butt end, a red Diamond on each clip he loads and has a Heart shaped muzzle. To get an idea at the color and basic shape of the gun, the best comparison is the Last Hand ornament for the Ace of Spades from Destiny 2.
Personality: Ace acts very confident and charming, hiding his cunning and sneaky nature. When talking to other people, he tries to flatter them, and deceive them into trusting him.
Skins
Rare
Winnings: Recolor to lighter and muted green
References bills, like the American or Canadian 20 dollar bills
Low Chips: Recolor to white, blue and green
References the typical Poker Chip colors for a chip worth 1, 10 and 25 dollars
High Chips: Recolor to pink, yellow and brown
References the typical Poker Chip colors for a chip worth 250, 1000 and 5000 dollars
Die: Recolor to black and white
References the colors of your typical die
Epic
Bloody Spade: All black is switched to red, while red is switched to black. All red becomes deeper and more blood-like.
Inverted: All black is switched to white, while red is switched to cyan.
Legendary
Joker: He wears a Jester outfit, if the name didn't give it away. The color of both the outfit and the Royal Flush are deep purple and sky blue.
Shark: Ace takes on a black tuxedo jacket, with the cuffs and inside shirt being red. His top hat is replaced with a black and red fedora, with a card slipped in. In his right chest pocket and up his sleeves, you'll find cards (SHOCKING!!!). He wears a bright white tie, and a heart shaped pin on the left side of his chest.
Skin Description: While Ace is a talented criminal who evades the law and generally screws up people's lives, he will always find time to visit a casino, wearing an "inconspicuous" outfit,
Robber: Wears a black jacket, jeans, sunglasses, black bandanna wrapped around his mouth and nose, and a cap. Meant to hide his identity by showing as little as possible. The Royal Flush loses all color and style, and just looks like your typical pistol.
Skin Description: His first ever heist went without a hitch, and let him fire a weapon for the first time. He enjoyed the feeling, and kept going back to rob banks over and over again, leading him to where he is today.
Lavished: Ace is adorned with gold chains and diamond rings, shaped as the four suits. His suit jacket turns to a shining silver, and his cards are outlined in a glowing gold.
Skin Description: Despite never stealing and committing crimes for the money, he had so much of it that he made himself this ridiculously over the top outfit.
Golden Gun
If I could make it so, I'd have two golden gun options: One of them turns Royal Flush's crimson red to gold, and the other turns it's jet black to gold. If this would be the case, the respective cards would turn gold accordingly, and the dice would turn gold too.
And there's Ace for you, but revamped! Tell me if these changes change him to be a bit better. As always, all criticism and feedback are welcome! Also, just for you McMetas, I added Voice Lines, Interactions, Emotes, Victory Poses and Highlight Intros in this doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RzQLD3KctR29FxGGrt6-bfwrXwDbhUJfAOQ7JjAQUEk/edit?usp=sharing. The doc is able to be commented on, so add your suggestions into the doc if you want.
First time trip to my local casino (Storytime with 3 hands included)
Yesterday, March 7th, I went with my roommates' boyfriend to our local casino. I guess he wanted someone to go with him to pull him off the baccarat table after a certain amount of time (he told me he gets stuck there sometimes). Little did he know, I was going to be the worst person for that type of job because I was going to go find the poker room. We left at around 8 to arrive at the casino around 8:40, we set to leave at around 2 hours in. First things first, we needed to stop at the bank across the street to withdraw from the atm. First, atm doesn't wanna spit out any money, it looks like we're running poorly already. Luckily there's a second one and after about 20 minutes we pull out some cash. I tell him to pull out 300$ for me, because I know that's the max at the 1/2$ tables inside. We go across the street to the fabled Hollywood Casino Columbus. I recently turned 21 two months ago so I have my ID in hand and ready. While giving my ID to the door guy I asked him if I looked 15 and he laughed and said yeah. After we're in, roommates boyfriend shows me where he'll be at, and then points me in the direction of the cashier as well as the poker room. I notice the place is super packed, probably typical of a Saturday night. I walk up to the cashier line having no idea what I'm doing, I sit in line for about 5 minutes and noticed nobody was getting any chips from these people, so I figured I was in the wrong line and awkwardly stepped out... I walk into the poker room looking even more lost and a desk lady puts on her customer service voice and says "hi sweetie what are you looking for". I tell her I'd like to get seated at a 1/2 game and she asks me for my players-card. Having absolutely no idea what she's talking about (yanno, first time here) I ask her what a players-card was and then she explains I have to go to the cashier's line to get one. (in the back of my head like, shit I was just in that line). So I walk back over to the line, sit in for another 10 minutes and then sign up for a players card. The cashiers were telling me about some type of first-time benefits and it felt like they were trying to sell me stuff so I started ignoring them. They gave me pamphlets with all the same information anyway. After finally getting my players-card I'm now ready to play, but I decide to be a good person and go check on my buddy at the baccarat table before I actually go and get seated. He was down about $400 already after like a half-hour, the guy definitely gambles a lot though and he told me his limit was $1000 for the night. I leave him be and I go back to the poker room and the desk lady points me to the poker room cashier to get my chips and shows me which table I'm at. (Super helpful) I get my 300$ in my rack and I'm ready to go. I'm not expecting too much from the session since it's my first one at a casino and I'm honestly expecting to punt off my entire stack. I sit down, however, optimistically because I know I have a decent chance. There are probably about 25 tables running all different stakes and I find out that there's a high-hand bonus every half-hour tonight that pays out $300. (Rooms packed, probably a lot of non-regular players). I sit at my table, the dealer asks me if I want in this hand and I told them I'll wait for the big blind. The guy to my immediate left seems very disgruntled and says "you're gonna be waitin' a while." I didn't realize but I sat down on my big blind, but I guess I had the option to wait for an entire orbit. (probably poor etiquette to wait for an entire orbit, my bad.) After watching for the orbit, I notice all the stereo-types about 1/2 are spot on, I see the classic old-man coffee across the table and even an old-lady coffee. I think I sat at a great table because there's those two and a couple of people who just aren't topped off on their stacks. (about 3 people with 150$ stacks). I notice a lot of limping already and A lot of action post-flop on wet boards. I play for about 2 hours and pick up 3 memorable hands, all the rest we're just typical blind steals, C-bets after aggression pre, etc. The most memorable hand goes like this; I woke up with the pocket ladies in MP QsQh I raise pre to something like 8$ (small but there weren't a ton of pre-flop raises that I had seen yet, I didn't know what was their standard so I just went 4x) Folds around to the button who "3" bets to exactly $20 Everyone else folds, heads-up, action back to me. I elect to make it $60, I cover villain by about $40 (320ish to 280ish). Villain decides to flat call. Flop comes; 10d 4x Qx (complete rainbow no flush draws) Obviously a dream flop for me, I decide his flatting range is pretty strong here and I decide to check it over to him. Villain ships it all in, without hesitation I snap it off. I put the guy on a strong hand either Aces Kings or maybe an unlucky set of 10s that set mined. We flip the cards over and he has 8d9d (wow this is a great table). Turn comes another 10, boating us up, and Villain is now drawing dead. This win puts our stack up to about 675ish and happens about 40 minutes into the session. The second most memorable hand is a hand where I had JsTs. I'm Early position (maybe seat 3 on a full table) and I elect to raise to $8, I get 5 callers and flop comes extremely dry, I decide to check it over because I just missed and I fold after MP makes something like a $24 bet. This was the point in the session where I think that my raise sizing pre-flop hurt me a little bit, 4x didn't exactly feel standard for live poker. (stack after this probably down to about 590ish 1hr20m into the session) The third and final hand is a hand where I woke up with the fabulous Ts2h! I'm in the small blind and button puts on a $5 straddle, Not knowing what's going on because I hadn't been next to a straddle yet I look at my cards and look around the table, dealer scares me a little bit and goes "4 more". (I panic threw in $4 cuz I didn't know the action was on me) folds around to LP middle-aged Asian women who calls and the straddle checks. (I've been pretty tight, great image at this point). Flop comes; Kh2d7s First action I check, middle-aged Asian women bets $12, straddler folds, heads up. I elect to check-raise on this dry textured board hoping for a fold, I make it $25 to go. Villain starts muttering to herself and talking a whole bunch, very visibly upset and has a relatively shorter stack of about $100 left behind. She makes the call. Turn comes 6c I check it over to her (probably should continue my bluff but this is my first one live in a casino) She checks back. River is Ac I decide to lead out small here (looks like a value bet on a weak opponent and throughout the night I've only shown down the nuts) I stick in 26$ she thinks for a while muttering to herself about what I could possibly have and makes a read that I had nothing on the flop. She ends up folding and I take it down. (PHEW) This puts my stack up to about $630ish 1hr50m into the session. After a few more orbits, and some preflop raises where I just miss the flop, my stack dwindles down to an even $600, and I look down at my phone and see a "Wya" (Where you at?) text from my roommates' boyfriend. I decide to start racking up at this point and then I go pull him off his table where he's still playing baccarat. He books a winning session as Do I, We get some food with the credit he's built up from going to the casino so much. And we leave victorious. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading, and I hope this helps any first-time casino-goers in the future.
(This is outdated. I made an updated version that changes how his abilities and weapon function.) Ace is much more based around his aesthetic than anything else. I've always had a thing for a gambler and card aesthetic, and he is the result. He is very RNG based, so hate on that all you want. I know RNG doesn't have a place in Overwatch, but it fits the theme, so hear me out first. I tried to design it so that RNG isn't going to be what kills you.
"When the cards are down, I'm always on top."
Profile Real Name: Tristan Alleo Age: 19 Occupation: Criminal, Gambler Affiliation: The Ace In The Hole Story (If this is too vague for you, this link will bring you to his full story) A boy ignored for all his life, He had it hard and filled with strife. Ignored by siblings, unseen by his parents To everyone else, he was nothing, transparent “I’ll show them all!” he thought one day “I will make them see it my way!” And so, with that, he put forth a guise Built off of deception and lies Talented and cunning, clever and smart He knew just how to break one’s heart With this persona, he committed some crimes And he did it again, so many times All his life, he had tried to belong Only now does he see he was oh so wrong A boy ignored, but it’s all the same. Now they all shall know his name. - A note left in a robbed bank vault, alongside a bloodied Ace of Spades Gameplay Health: 200 Role: Damage Difficulty: * * * Strengths: Unpredictability, high and consistent damage at medium and short range Weaknesses: Unreliable fire and abilities, lack of movement options, preparation required for ultimate to be effective General Strategy: While your abilities have many distinct possibilities, they each have the same general purpose. Loaded Die is good for crowd control, especially when thrown behind shields, Card Trick is good for single target and Coin Toss is good to initiate a 1v1. On the other hand, your weapon might change your strategy a lot, so adapt to it. Final Gambit should be prepared before entering a fight to guarantee you get the outcome you want. Generally, play like Mccree at medium to close range, attempting to 1v1. Primary Fire: Royal Flush Ace's specially made pistol has been modeled to fire four types of ammunition, each with unique stats.
Spade Shot
Club Rounds
Diamond Bullet
Heart of Lead
Firing type
Hitscan
Arcing projectiles
Hitscan
Linear projectile
Projectile speed
N/A
40m/sec
N/A
80m/sec
Ammo consumption
1 shot only
3 per shot, out of 21
1 per shot, out of 13
1 per shot, out of 6
Fire rate
1 shot per second (only in custom games with increased ammo)
1 shot per 0.8 seconds
2 shots per seconds
1 shot per 0.75 seconds
Damage
120-90
25 damage per round
50-30
65
Headshots
Yes
No
Yes
Yes
Falloff Range
30-45m
No range limit
25-45
No range limit
Description
His Ace in the hole, the Spade Shot is a massive round that deals heavy damage.
The most unique type, the Clubs Rounds split into three pieces on fire.
Standard issue ammunition, stylized just for Ace.
Powerful at any range, his Hearts of Lead are illegal in many countries.
Reload time: 0.5 seconds
Beside the ammo count, the corresponding suit symbol is shown to indicate what you are firing
For comparisons, Zenyatta's Orbs of Destruction move at 90m/sec
Ability 1: Loaded Die Ace throws out a grenade, stylized as a die.
Casting time: 0.1 seconds
Projectile type: Arcing projectile
Possibilities:
1: Radius of 3 meters, damage of 60, projectile speed of 30m/sec, explodes on contact
2: Radius of 5 meters, damage of 30, projectile speed of 50m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 3 bounces, disables abilities for 3 seconds
3: Radius of 4 meters, damage of 70, projectile speed of 20m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 10 bounces, damages Ace for 50
4: Radius of 2.5 meters, damage of 60, projectile speed of 25m/sec, explodes on contact with enemy or after 5 bounces, actively seeks out enemies
5: Radius of 3 meters, damage of 40, projectile speed of 30m/sec, explodes on contact with a shield or after 6 bounces, contact with shield removes half the shields total health, actively seeks out shields
6: Radius of 4 meters, damage of 50, projectile speed of 40m/sec, explodes on contact, Ace heals for 50% of damage dealt or gains extra Armor if Health maxes out
Bouncing does include bouncing off walls, and all grenades except 5 go through shields without exploding
Cooldown: 9 seconds
For comparisons, Junkrat's Concussion Mines have a radius of 3m, and his Frag Launcher has a projectile speed of 25m/sec
Ability 2: Card Trick Ace takes a card from in his sleeve, and flings it forward.
Casting time: 0.2 seconds
Projectile type: Linear Projectile
Projectile speed: 60m/sec
Range limit: 40 meters
Possibilities:
Ace of Spades: Deals 75 damage, homes in on enemies
Ace of Clubs: Deals 60 damage, after the Tricked Card moves 20 meters, splits into 3 pieces that travel at the same speed and deal 25 damage each
Ace of Hearts: Deals 50 damage, if the Tricked Card hits, Ace heals 80 health instantly.
Ace of Diamonds: Deals 60 damage, if the Tricked Card hits, target deals -25% damage for 7 seconds
Joker: Deals 30 damage, curves towards enemies, after the Tricked Card moves 30 meters, splits into 3 pieces that travel 50m/sec and deal 10 damage each, if the Tricked Card kills an enemy, Ace heals 50 Health and target deals -10% damage for 5 seconds (each split piece can individually trigger the healing and damage reduction)
Cooldown: 11 seconds
For comparisons, Zenyatta's Orbs of Destruction move at 90m/sec
Ability 3: Coin Toss Ace tosses a coin, either healing himself or buffing himself.
Cast time: 0.8 seconds
Duration: 7 seconds
Cooldown: 12 seconds
Heads
Healing: 100 Health over the duration
Damage taken: -10%
Tails
Damage buff: +50% damage
Speed buff: +25% movement speed
Ultimate: Final Gambit
"Time to roll the odds."
Ace pulls out one of his abilities, and uses a souped-up version of it. On cast, Ace pulls out a glowing die, a straight flush, or golden coin. Casting again activates the respective Ultimate, while firing cancels it. Cancelling doesn't drain your ult, but you must wait one whole second to try again. Ultimate Cost: 1890. To understand how Ultimate Costs work and how this affects things, I'll link the overwatch gamepedia on the subject: Link Here Bag of Dice Ace pulls out a bag, and throws it upwards. It explodes, and Loaded Dice start to rain from the sky.
Cast time: 0.3 seconds
Radius: 12 meters
Amount of Loaded Dice: 40
Duration: 8 seconds
As opposed to bouncing, the Loaded Dice explode on impact.
52 Pickup Ace pulls out a deck of cards, and flings it forwards. On contact, Tricked Cards start flying everywhere.
Cast time: 0.2 seconds
Projectile type: Linear
Projectile speed: 80m/sec
Amount of Tricked Cards: 52
Duration: 10 seconds
I'm the least sure of this one's balance. While 52 cards are a lot, they do spread out and fly in every possible direction, meaning it's a bit harder to be hit unless standing at the impact zone of the deck. Tell me your suggestions on how to tweak this one especially.
Lucky Coin Ace takes out his golden coin, and flips it. He either heals allies and increases their ultimate germination, or buffs them and lowers their cool down times.
Radius: 10 meters
Cast time: 0.4 seconds
Duration: 10 seconds
Heads
Each character heals half their health over the duration (ex. Roadhog heals 30 health per second, tracer heals 7.5 health per second)
Appearance: Ace is a light skinned male, standing 5 foot 3 inches, with a thinner body. He wears a long, flowing black suit jacket, with red running along the edges and his cuffs. In the inner pocket of his suit jacket, he has two pockets with decks of cards. Underneath this suit jacket, he wears a nice red suit, with a black Spade shaped bow tie. He wears a black top hat, with a red band running around it. Tucked into this band, you'll find an Ace of Hearts. On his face, he wears a mask that covers his eyes, with the left side being a red Diamond, and the left being a black Club. In his left hand, the one not holding his weapon, he has tucked a card up his sleeve. To get an idea at what his irregular suit jacket looks like compare to this image for the DnD Homebrew class Card Dealer.
Royal Flush: His weapon is a sleek jet black and crimson red pistol, with a black Spade on the barrel, a black Club on the butt end, a red Diamond on each clip he loads and has a Heart shaped muzzle. To get an idea at the color and basic shape of the gun, the best comparison is the Last Hand ornament for the Ace of Spades from Destiny 2.
Personality: Ace acts very confident and charming, hiding his cunning and sneaky nature. When talking to other people, he tries to flatter them, and deceive them into trusting him.
Skins
Rare
Winnings: Recolor to lighter and muted green
References bills, like the American or Canadian 20 dollar bills
Low Chips: Recolor to white, blue and green
References the typical Poker Chip colors for a chip worth 1, 10 and 25 dollars
High Chips: Recolor to pink, yellow and brown
References the typical Poker Chip colors for a chip worth 250, 1000 and 5000 dollars
Die: Recolor to black and white
References the colors of your typical die
Epic
Bloody Spade: All black is switched to red, while red is switched to black. All red becomes deeper and more blood-like.
Can't think of a second one. Sorry!
Legendary
Joker: He wears a Jester outfit, if the name didn't give it away. The color of both the outfit and the Royal Flush are deep purple and sky blue.
Shark: Ace takes on a black tuxedo jacket, with the cuffs and inside shirt being red. His top hat is replaced with a black and red fedora, with a card slipped in. In his right chest pocket and up his sleeves, you'll find cards (SHOCKING!!!). He wears a bright white tie, and a heart shaped pin on the left side of his chest.
Skin Description: While Ace is a talented criminal who evades the law and generally screws up people's lives, he will always find time to visit a casino, wearing an "inconspicuous" outfit,
Robber: Wears a black jacket, jeans, sunglasses, black bandanna wrapped around his mouth and nose, and a cap. Meant to hide his identity by showing as little as possible. The Royal Flush loses all color and style, and just looks like your typical pistol.
Skin Description: His first ever heist went without a hitch, and let him fire a weapon for the first time. He enjoyed the feeling, and kept going back to rob banks over and over again, leading him to where he is today.
Lavished: Ace is adorned with gold chains and diamond rings, shaped as the four suits. His suit jacket turns to a shining silver, and his cards are outlined in a glowing gold.
Skin Description: Despite never stealing and committing crimes for the money, he had so much of it that he made himself this ridiculously over the top outfit.
Golden Gun
If I could make it so, I'd have two golden gun options: One of them turns Royal Flush's crimson red to gold, and the other turns it's jet black to gold. If this would be the case, the respective cards would turn gold accordingly, and the dice would turn gold too.
And there's Ace for you! I hope you can accept that I incorporated RNG into this character to fit the theme, and how hard I tried to make it not too impactful on the overall kit. I also tried something new with the story, opting to tell it through a poem, despite my inability to write one. Tell me if you like this style of not telling you the whole story, I have an idea in the works that tells it's story in a similar way. Of course, all criticism and feedback are welcome!
A cynical look at how bad the Casino DLC could conceivably be:
Cynical outlook at how the DLC will go based on prior DLCs:
Game boots up to online, you receive a phone call from a random lady whose phone contact icon is her in a bunny suit, tells you about exciting new opportunity involving new casino opening up, calls continue ad nausea. Also when you see her one time in the intro cut scene she's wearing a really cool accessory that the game taunts you by not letting you buy.
You buy casino for circa 12 million dollars (To start, all the options add an additional million or so tops, some are essential and you're given no clues as to what they are), comes with the same options as the nightclub, including a new pre-selected names instead of letting you choose your own.
For no real reason it functions basically the exact same as the nightclub only with a few missions mixed in.
MISSIONS:
Deliver party clowns to casino in limousine, constant din of honking persists through entire trip, clowns spray you with seltzer water in the vehicle making your vision blurred
Steal poker chips from military base
Shoot down inexplicable cargo jet full of "Casino supplies" and transport them to the underground bay in the casino where your new vehicle storage is located,
Other talking points:
To cash out, you have to manually deliver the cash in a customizable Gruppe Sechs bank truck (Which starts at 1.5 million dollars, you have to buy it yourself, also requires you to buy the workshop option for your casino, fully upgrading brings the cost close to five million dollars), which is unfortunately the coolest thing in the update. Unfortunately it terrorizes the streets as it has the most explosive resistance in the entire game and you can add a remote control 50 caliber machine gun to the roof along with Kuruma level armor plating.
To start out you get a ripoff ford transit for free, however it has such a low capacity that it's not worth using, despite having similar cargo space to the armored van.
You can pay extra for a "Police escort", for your export missions, a lot extra, it's completely useless though as the police drive standard cruisers and people come at you in MKIIs.
If by some miracle your shipment is stolen instead of blown up, the person who stole your money gets to keep it all.
Some VIP card dealers are available, based on real ones for some reason. You pick them up from the airport and nothing happens but you have to drive within the confines of the law or they bitch endlessly at you.
You have to keep local law enforcement "Bribed", represented by a meter, or other players can enter your casino with weapons to trash it, which costs money to repair. Even a successful defense will cost you about 10% of your current stock. It eats about 20% of your profit to do this, but somebody comes up with a mildly inconvenient to execute exploit to prevent it happening indefinitely that takes Rockstar a few months to patch.
The Actual casino everyone knows is only one of a few properties you can buy, the most expensive one, of course. for your convenience a few assorted properties which are clearly not casinos are also made available around the map. This includes a property hidden in the military base, however it does not come with clearance, so it really sucks to be you if you bought it and don't own the Zancudo hangar.
Your casino produces half as much profit in private sessions, and you get some tough as nails thugs at every turn when doing any casino related work
Trailer shows a really cool vehicle that is either completely unavailable or all the way at the back of the drip feed line
Oh yeah you can't actually gamble, maybe if you're lucky you can gamble for amounts under 100$ at another player's casino. House usually wins, money goes straight to them. If you have any questions about "Why?", I'll assume you're a new player. Welcome! How are your vehicles from the Criminal Enterprise starter pack?
I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months
Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.) S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery) S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen) S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though) S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases) S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it) S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome) S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood) S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal) S3E7: Creed sells office equipment S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent) S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them) S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street) S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit) S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic) S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress) S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is) S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger) S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property) S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well) S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car) S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage) S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping) S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics) S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering) S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal) S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access) S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building) S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up) S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency) S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car) S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty) S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill) S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back) S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage) S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft) S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct) S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan) S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission) S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail) S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant) S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it) S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution) S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects) S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him; S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency); S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
SINGAPORE — A Resorts World Sentosa (RWS) dealer who stole at least $77,000 in casino chips over six months was jailed nine months and six weeks on Thursday (20 June). Ding Zhipeng, a 28-year-old... Video surveillance footage supplied exclusively to The Daily Telegraph shows a croupier stealing a $5000 chip by hiding it in his sock at Sydney's Star Casino. NewsDNARaw. Ding’s case was the second one involving a casino dealer stealing chips. News emerged earlier this year that a dealer at The Star Casino in Sydney was caught trying to snatch a chip worth A$5,000 from a baccarat table. A leaked footage showed the dealer pinching a chip from a tray with his pinky and ring finger, while talking to patrons. He then stowed the chip in his palm. The erring dealer was fired by the casino immediately after the incident. A casino dealer collects chips at a roulette table in Pasay city, Metro Manila, Philippines, March 27, 2015. Erik De Castro, Reuters. Following last week’s attack at Resorts World Manila in Pasay City, questions on the value of casino chips and why the lone gunman decided to steal them have been raised. Jesse Javier Carlos, the lone assailant in the Resorts World Manila attack on June 2 that ... Stealing Casino Dealer now faces Prison-time After being caught red-handed last November by a casino guard, the ex-dealer receives a prison term sentence for his theft of $56,818 chips worth of cash. According to the story which was reported by Today Online, the former casino dealer must pay $8,855 in reimbursement costs, as well as spending 6 weeks in prison. Earlier in 2019, a former casino dealer at the same casino in Sydney tried to steal a $5,000 chip during a work shift. His plan was not as elaborate. His plan was not as elaborate. That unnamed baccarat dealer ran his fingers over the chips in the tray in front of him, then lifted a chip with his pinky and ring fingers from the tray, and he put it under the table and into his sock. A CASINO blackjack dealer secretly swiped up to $72,000 in betting chips to feed his $1000-a-week drug habit, a court has been told. The Brisbane District Court was told Scott David Mannion stole between $24,000 and $72,000 in $500 chips while working as a croupier at the Conrad Treasury Casino between June 23, last year, and February 25. In June 2019, a former dealer at the property was sentenced to nine months and six weeks in prison after he was discovered to have stolen S$77,000 worth of chips from the casino. Ding Zhipeng, a Chinese national, also received a S$12,000 fine for his charges. He started work as a dealer at Resorts World Sentosa in July 2017. In November 2018, he was caught by a security officer stealing S$1,000 chips from his table. Man arrested for stealing $14,000 in chips from Lakewood casino. Posted on: January 21, 2020. OLYMPIA, Wash. – Gambling Commission agents arrested a man for stealing more than $14,000 in chips from a Lakewood casino and then trying to cash them in. On Dec. 18, 2019, the suspect pried open a chip tray on a closed gaming table at Macau Casino in ... The dealer, who began working at Resorts World in July 2017, was caught on the casino’s eye in the sky removing three chips from the float — a covered tray filled with chips attached to his...
The 10 BIGGEST Casino Scams EVER!! From card counting getting caught to stealing millions and getting away…stay tuned to number 1 to hear about the most insa... "Casino" is a 1995 American epic crime drama film directed by "Martin Scorsese" and starring "Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci & Sharon Stone".Casino was released o... Check out these secrets casinos don't want you to know! From how to win at blackjack to beating the casino jackpot, this top 10 list of dark gambling secrets... About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ... Dealerdolls.com All female professional black jack, craps, roulette, poker dealers! Also bartenders, cocktail waitresses, and showgirls! Check out the site for more information! 1.866.96.DOLLS. Good training video. Observe the Dealer's left hand. Left hand went to a stack of chips. Notice that the dealer now handles everything with 2 fingers with th... The next video is starting stop. Loading... Watch Queue dealer accidentally mucks players hand when she actually went all in. A poker dealer at the Rivers Casino has been charged with stealing chips, police said. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators ...
